How do we know it's summer?--Super jerry-rig-slip 'n slide! It's a sheet of plastic they use for bilboards my old friend Brandon thought up while drinking PBR. The brilliant part was having it like a hammock, strung up (with extension cords?) to the railing about 15 feet above the yard. The cubicle-people in the adjacent office were shirking their work...  We rigged a hose to a chair and slathered it up with dishsoap. The bearded one is my dear, dear old friend, Ashley aka Uncle Ashley or Smash. He's known me through all my years of craziness and stuck by me as i flailed about and finally found myself. & yes, that is a dog with an apparent affinity for water slides.

I will let people know if they do it again, it is some ridiculous good clean fun..

GTF

* I seem to have no control over the placement of my photos on here, any tips? it;s making me mad.*

Ogden Pioneer Days Rodeo

This was Emily's brilliant idea to attend.  I'm still in total awe at the awesomeness thereof

Look! the 

Rodeo queen! 

Her tiara fits 

over her cowboy hat!

I love the humans.

Seriously

for Shelly-Bear

I  remember the frightening place it sounds like you might be..In rare moments of clarity when my life was very different and complicated and lived in pure Id, i would have a conversation with myself that stared with,"what if the Mormons are right?" & it would run in my head as i tried to stuff it deeper into my subconcious until i would get to--"but then i couldn't have a cold, Belgian beer in the shower...& I'D HAVE TO WEAR GARMENTS!!!" The mental conversation would always end there because that would be the end of the world.  

Now i'm told that only the end of the world is the end of the world. As i spent less and less time drinking and partying, i just felt this safe, comforting ease around my Mormon friends and co-worke

rs (as i still had the gift of the Holy Ghost from when i was 8 years old, however much i'd abused him.) All it took was a few years of this crazy mental struggle and finally one day opening up the blessed BOM. I was at the cabin in Torrey in the blue bedroom. I started reading and i just knew. All the doubt & kinks of transitioning over have been worked out over time-- many times with anguish--like taking out my belly ring before i went to the temple? a personal decision, on of those tiny symbolic sacrifices...so hard to give up! I loved my little Peridot barbell. Somehow i felt it defined me. It seemed really important. But it does not and it was not.  

Any sacrifices we make will be exponentially returned to us, so make them--one by one as you examine what really is important; what will be important when you are dead.  

So now i do wear garments and i actually love them! (except right now b/c i sunburned the crap out of myself so i'm typing naked in my orange chair with my dirty cat as my outfit.) & honestly, as i sit here gratefully stealing internet from the neighbors, i really do believe with all my heartfelt heart and all my clever brains that when the world ends, as it obviously is headed to, or just when any joe dies and the perverbial smoke clears--each person will freak out in flabbergastation as they realize outloud, "i can not believe the Mormons were right!!"

Will you wound her? I may. Is that your intent? It is not.

Could it be any more breathtaking? (@ Alta) I cried like you should at a really good wedding. They are such good people-- i like to say these two really maximize their light of Christ. 

My dear friend Erin's brother married them and he was so eloquent and captured them so well in the Hominy--He is the reason she became a pastor.  The post's title is a part of the Celtic hand-tying ceremony they did...so powerful!

A joyful reunion with my gay Steiner husband, Craig.

i hope i get better at laying stuff out. in my head it looks really sharp

My oldest sister--the other bookend--and Craig live 2 doors away in Holladay. She and i decorated the concrete cherub and gargoyle in his yard yesterday...

We build those muskles swimming across reservoirs in readiness for armageddon. 

Would you believe it that Kirst was freaked out when we got there b/c her ex-band who kicked her out when she got divorced and took sides with her ex-husband were playing the gig?

 She gracefully got over it and had a splendid, healing time.

yip yip for skippie

i've come back into the world after nightshifting! i am so thrilled with my life i can't even stand it!!! There is so much to do in the summer & so many wonderful new people in my life! Play Play Play! i love my job, & this part is novel--they're going to keep paying me every 2 weeks! i can't wrap my head around it, as i have struggled with money for as long as i can remember. it's been feast or famine(usually famine--there have been times in my 20's i used the food bank..)

so this week, in celebration of my REal JOB, i've decided to buy myself
a (used) roadbike!!!

i'll try ksl.com, ebay, craigslist, etc..

this is the how

An excerpt of an email i wrote my mom this morning--we commonly discuss our study of the bible & book of mormon--what we're learning & what we're excited about:

"i'm finally getting what they mean to thirst after the word & really ponder it. The big breakthrough has been using a study journal consistently (wasn't it PMG that taught us that?) I copy down the passages that hit me--the ones that are highlight-worthy & my thoughts and impressions; along with the references and all the footnotes i follow. Then the next day i go back and reread so i remember what i learned the day before. it;s awesome!"

i'm just gonna do it

i've been plagued with some noxious blog anxiety, like "it must be just right! someone may be grading me or will think what i've written is stupid!"But now that i've said it i know that it's--duh. & i'm ready to let it go. I think b/c i finally faced it in the face & named it as one of those underlying fears that make no sense but are looming and powerful until you just turn around and say,"hey! you;re not a scary monster, you;re just a silly snickerdoodle!" & then you have to giggle and go on your merry way. this is a pattern i've found with lots of things. i'm not sure i explained very well in my delerious sleep-lag, but i;m trying to tell you to face your unsaid fears & your semi-concious expectaions and give them a name. You'll say, "huh. I was expecting that other people could read my mind! hilarious!" or "oh! i was afraid that saying what i really mean might make the world implode." or "i am afraid everyone will leave me or laugh at me or eat me alive." just give these statements room to shake themselves out like wet, soppy doggies & then you will look eachother up & down and walk your separate sidewalks...