welcome to my head

i'm new to this. but it can't be much different from journaling, which i do obsessively--sometimes 6 or 8 times a day at different intervals in military time. Although one might suggest toning down the intimate details, bodily functions or tales of gruesome gore, tonight it's a tale of all three: It's now quarter to three in the unit of the hospital where i work. And before I came in I ate a sizeable quantity of Thai food after my swim workout, but let me back upfrom there. Last night i attended a fantastic white elephant party; and Paula Abdul's zesty dance workout video tape now lives on my shelf and in my heart ( i've yet to locate the outfit worthy of trying it out.) Said party began to wind down and the hardcores had stories to tell of--i know it's cliche--pooping their pants. Our beloved East-coast-art-leviathan told a charming story of pooping his pants and tying his underoos up in a glad bag and cycling away from his studio. Then the hostess piped in that she too had recently pooped in her pants with chagrin. Well, whatever part of my accupressure/mind-body connection/touchie-feelie/yoga/hippie body that speaks Freud decided to translate my preconcious "what about me?" and "that wouldn't happen to me." sentiments into a fabulous culmination in my generic blue scrubs this very night! I was wraped up in a matching blue plastic gown and my coworker either didn't hear or repressed the terrible sound which accompanied the surprise down my leg, and she continued giving me tasks to complete in the sweaty plastic outfit--now gooey inside and out. It was 10 or 15 minutes before i could get out of the patient's room to survey the damage. I smiled. Iniside i was laughing at the timing, the irony, the silly and perfect humbling i recieved directly from God. And thanking Him I had three more pairs of scrubs in my locker down the hall. But when i finally checked things out, to my pleasant surprise, the surprise was not brown, but clear and runny, like antibacterial soap or even the antimicrobial stuff i slather on every three minutes. But it came out of my butt! I think i'm just gonna pretend it was that anitmicrobial goo and repress where it came from. A la freud.